Tag Archives: la liga

Aside

It’s hard to be Cristiano Ronaldo.  No, it’s not because he’s a worldclass football player, rich, tan within an inch of his life, or (to most women…and men) “good-looking”, it’s hard to be CR7 because of the massive ego a … Continue reading

Top 5 Real Reasons Pep Guardiola Left FC Barcelona

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"Pep saaaaaaaadddddd"

 

1. There’s some underground news about Pep starting a twitter account.  Rumor has it, the three musketeers (Puyol, Cesc, Pique) have recruited the now former coach.  Somehow they’ve convinced the philosophiser of philosophy to preach his speeches online for a bigger audience.  We don’t doubt it, but we’ll be keeping our eyes out for user names like @iamNOTpep / @theCreatorofFCB / @theREALbarcastuff.  Readers who are interested with finding Pep in twitter should find a person using “MOCMOC” other than Puyol, Cesc, and Pique.

2. We’ve also heard that Pep’s starting to get bored with FC Barcelona.  Or he’s “not as enthusiastic” as he was when he started.  Pep may have stated this the wrong way because its not Barca whose getting boring, its the people that play them.  Before, when the young (and still young) wipper-snapper took reign of FCB, no one expected Barca’s attacking philosophy.  Hence teams actually attempted to PLAY.  Nowadays teams park their airplane in the Camp Nou stadium and sit on their ass for the counter.  Hey, it worked for Chelsea…

3. Pep’s fashionable, tailor-made suits has ran rampid in his reign in football.  He’s notorious for well fitted pants and sweater vests.  No matter the weather, below freezing, scalding hot, you’ll see this coach in designer layered suits.  Unfortunately high end fashion designers, with the likes of Valentino and Emporio Armani has taken a new direction.  Take for example, Armani’s new girl Rihanna.  The “Little Miss Sunshine” singer has developed a new image of “gangsta’ life” and Pep, not being well-informed, didn’t want to trade his classy image to be paired up with RiRi’s skank image.

4.  Another speculation is that Pep wants to make an incredible comeback as an FCB player.  Yes this one is true!  Apparently he was extremely jealous of Iniesta’s bursting acting career (¡Piratas!) that Pep wanted to make the ultimate comeback in football in hopes for a movie being made about him.  I can’t find anyone playing Pep better than Pep, so it’s kind of a win, win.

5. Pep also gave a reason for his leaving saying, “I need to recharge my batteries”.  This may mean that he, like Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction, will just “walk the Earth”.  Nothing wrong with that either because he may be coming to a city near you!  That or someone just give him some working batteries…LIKE NOW.

12 FCB Days of Christmas

Here’s a quick recap of FC Barcelona post El Clasico and Pre-winter break-in musical format:

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An FCB Recap: Finally Finding Their Form

Okay, I’ll be the first one to admit it.  FC Barcelona hasn’t been doing as well as they did last season.  The over-congestion of top class midfielders maybe part of the reason or it maybe that the forwards forgotten how to finish, or its the lack of ball posession (the one defense Barca can rely on).  But everyone must calm down.  In the end, the motto still stands–“IN PEP WE TRUST”.  So here’s what happens to our players after they’ve found their form.

Sanchez: "If this doesn't find the back of the net...I'm fired."

Sanchez finally realizes that taking chances is better than not scoring at all. Like I said, strikers and forwards alike relearn how to finish. Messi, Villa, Sanchez isn’t as catchy as MVP(edro), but I’m sure cules can deal.

Messi: "No one ever carries me like that...maybe I should start scoring again."

I’m sure if the team finds ways to make Messi jealous, especially with people scoring the goals, he’ll make an attempt to find the back of the net.

Xavi "Thank you Sanchez! Maybe Pep will rest me now..."

Xavi makes even more miraculous passes in hopes for Pep to rest him. Especially during games when they’re up 4-0.

Dani Alves: "Congradulations for being onsides!!!"

Villa gets lucky and finds himself onsides. It earns a celebration.

VV: "Ref!! Can we please get yellow cards?"

hmmm…nuff said.

Well, that was pretty much the entirety of the game.  There was a photo op next day for FCB’s yearbook day.  We caught some pictures of the players looking at their club and all its greatness.

Sanchez: "Dani why am I not in here?"

Newbie Sanchez desperately tries to find photos of himself in the yearbook.

Messi: "No words??...just pictures?! I love this book"

Messi is disappointed that all the photos were already colored in.

Next formation 0-10-0

Puyi tries to recruit Pep because???…

Those are our players no matter how weird and unpredictable they are! As you can see, no player rifts in these photos, everyone seems to be content in being at FCB, ect, ect. El Clasico is in 2 weeks and if we can keep this form up, well…we might have a chance! Oh, and Pique might receive a 2 match ban after being accused of deliberately getting a yellow card. (It means he might miss El Clasico). Cross your fingers and—

¡Visca Barca!

FC Barcelona: Post International Break

Are you guys ready for the match against Real Zaragoza?! We did some undercover scouting in the Camp Nou.  We’re happy to report that we found our players focused and in tip-top shape (FIFA virus free and everything *knock on wood*).  From these photos we took, it seems like they’re ready and rearing to go for today’s Zaragoza match and the upcoming Champions League on Wednesday against AC Milan.

Messi: "Is stretching a type of rest"

Puyol:"So I do yoga, and Pep does ti-chi...I need to tweet this to Pique.."

Pedro:"OOOHH!! IM ABOUT TO PULL A HAMSTRING!!"

"Yeahh...from the looks of it, Pep won't be too happy with Pedro"

Pique:"Jaja so Puyi just tweeted me..."

Mascherano:"and then, AND THEN he made you take our picture!"

Keita: "The ONE thing I can do better than Messi..."

Villa:"Hehe, chance to be offsides"

Well there you have it! Another accomplished training session with Barca. Let’s just hope they’re this motivated come match day!