Tag Archives: football

A Quiet Victory

Found a nice short post about the Champions League outcome.

http://bit.ly/KPRgWk

 

Top 5 Real Reasons Pep Guardiola Left FC Barcelona

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"Pep saaaaaaaadddddd"

 

1. There’s some underground news about Pep starting a twitter account.  Rumor has it, the three musketeers (Puyol, Cesc, Pique) have recruited the now former coach.  Somehow they’ve convinced the philosophiser of philosophy to preach his speeches online for a bigger audience.  We don’t doubt it, but we’ll be keeping our eyes out for user names like @iamNOTpep / @theCreatorofFCB / @theREALbarcastuff.  Readers who are interested with finding Pep in twitter should find a person using “MOCMOC” other than Puyol, Cesc, and Pique.

2. We’ve also heard that Pep’s starting to get bored with FC Barcelona.  Or he’s “not as enthusiastic” as he was when he started.  Pep may have stated this the wrong way because its not Barca whose getting boring, its the people that play them.  Before, when the young (and still young) wipper-snapper took reign of FCB, no one expected Barca’s attacking philosophy.  Hence teams actually attempted to PLAY.  Nowadays teams park their airplane in the Camp Nou stadium and sit on their ass for the counter.  Hey, it worked for Chelsea…

3. Pep’s fashionable, tailor-made suits has ran rampid in his reign in football.  He’s notorious for well fitted pants and sweater vests.  No matter the weather, below freezing, scalding hot, you’ll see this coach in designer layered suits.  Unfortunately high end fashion designers, with the likes of Valentino and Emporio Armani has taken a new direction.  Take for example, Armani’s new girl Rihanna.  The “Little Miss Sunshine” singer has developed a new image of “gangsta’ life” and Pep, not being well-informed, didn’t want to trade his classy image to be paired up with RiRi’s skank image.

4.  Another speculation is that Pep wants to make an incredible comeback as an FCB player.  Yes this one is true!  Apparently he was extremely jealous of Iniesta’s bursting acting career (¡Piratas!) that Pep wanted to make the ultimate comeback in football in hopes for a movie being made about him.  I can’t find anyone playing Pep better than Pep, so it’s kind of a win, win.

5. Pep also gave a reason for his leaving saying, “I need to recharge my batteries”.  This may mean that he, like Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction, will just “walk the Earth”.  Nothing wrong with that either because he may be coming to a city near you!  That or someone just give him some working batteries…LIKE NOW.

HELLO 2012! (post via offsidehumor.tumblr.com)

Well it’s a new year and it has been officially named 2012! You know what that means–more matches, rivalries, idiotic decisions, and yup you guessed it–the dreaded winter transfer rumors/window.  To spare you from reading more transfer rumors, like Fernando Torres moving to Barca (as if 2012 really is the year when the world ends…) or Barca making a bid for Fernando Torres…as if 2012 is the year when the world loses their minds, we’d like to present you New Years Resolutions!

Famous football New Years Resolution:

1.)Carlos Tevez- to stay at Man City and continue leeching off their money, or move to another team to leech off their money

2.)Zlatan Ibrohimovic- wants to make his book “I am Zlatan” as an official holy scripture

3.) Cristiano Ronaldo- learn how to spontaneously combust a specific unnamed player so he can finally be the best in the world  (a pretty messi tactic but what can you do…)

4.)David Silva- wants to get a couple of centimeters shorter to finally fit into the “false 9” role in the Spanish NT

5.)Gareth Bale- learn Spanish for his “imminent move” to Barcelona

6.)Alexis Sanchez- wants to become a stand-up comedian so his team can understand his jokes better

7.)Xavi Hernandez-wants to move his head like an owl to truly have 360 degree view of the pitch

8.)Mario Balotelli- promises Mancini he will take Xanax (*fingers crossed*) to keep MCFC’s PR team form quitting

9.)van Persie- to convince himself that loyalty to a team is more important than titles

10.)Lionel Messi- to keep playing football in hopes for more lollipops from Pep

If you *hear* more, please share =)

FC Barcelona: Post International Break

Are you guys ready for the match against Real Zaragoza?! We did some undercover scouting in the Camp Nou.  We’re happy to report that we found our players focused and in tip-top shape (FIFA virus free and everything *knock on wood*).  From these photos we took, it seems like they’re ready and rearing to go for today’s Zaragoza match and the upcoming Champions League on Wednesday against AC Milan.

Messi: "Is stretching a type of rest"

Puyol:"So I do yoga, and Pep does ti-chi...I need to tweet this to Pique.."

Pedro:"OOOHH!! IM ABOUT TO PULL A HAMSTRING!!"

"Yeahh...from the looks of it, Pep won't be too happy with Pedro"

Pique:"Jaja so Puyi just tweeted me..."

Mascherano:"and then, AND THEN he made you take our picture!"

Keita: "The ONE thing I can do better than Messi..."

Villa:"Hehe, chance to be offsides"

Well there you have it! Another accomplished training session with Barca. Let’s just hope they’re this motivated come match day!

Twitter Wars


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