So here we are again. Another major competition and another chance to dissect national teams for players who may or may not deserve to be there. Before bantering about stand out players I’ll just put this out there, Netherlands deserve to qualify. No offense to team Cristiano Ronaldo (your posts have kept us afloat in terms of the people who view this nonsense) but playing wise Netherlands play a cleaner and more fast pace game. It’s just unlucky that Denmark won the lottery for their match against Netherlands. Since we got that straightened out, there are huge surprises in this years Euros.
Let’s start with Xavi Hernandez. No doubt this guy practices his math to the bone. His passes are dead on accurate and he managed to set a new record for most passes, and on top of that managed to embarrass Ireland by pretty much triple-quadrupling the amount of passes they made in the entire match. I think the crazy statistic came out to be 136 passes and 127 completed. Not to mention everytime he passed it was to the dominant foot of the player, but only because he’s half cyborg.
Fernando Torres is back?! I know it’s hard for me to believe this also but against a team with a non-existing defense, it reaches the point of being ALMOST believable. Fernando Torres ended up scoring against Ireland and ending his goal drought. Believe me, if you haven’t been watching football for very long El Nino’s droughts aren’t like Messi’s (whose droughts last for 90 minutes). El Nino has been on a 2 year goal-less streak for his national team. Is he finally getting back into shape? Is it because David Silva’s new found Spanglish helped him understand what assists Fernando Torres wants? Did UEFAlona pay off Ireland?
Enough about Spain. We know they’re good and we know they’re favorites. So let’s switch to an even younger and blonder team. Yes, we’re talking about the big looking German people called Mannschaft. Geeze Germans these days… they’re all heart and all skill. It’s refreshing to see a fast pace attacking game with a huge chance of seeing some shirtless bodies at the end.
Uber Badstuber and T Mullz have been a crucial part of the German team. Uber Badstuber is pretty much as solid as a defense gets. And Thomas Muller’s crosses are fast and deadly. If only they stop losing the damn ball so much they’d be up by a billion goals by halftime ends.
Lastly, Mario Gomez’s 22 seconds of ball possession in the entire Euro 2012 yeilded 3 goals for the Germans already. Efficient aren’t they. It’s a shame that he didn’t take his shirt off for this photo though.