Author Archives: theblindlinesman

A Quiet Victory

Found a nice short post about the Champions League outcome.

http://bit.ly/KPRgWk

 

Player Reviews: el clasico

To add to offsidehumor’s point of view here are a couple of player reviews on the match, via twitter.

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HO HO HO! Santa’s football wishlist

In the spirit of X-mas we managed to peek at Santa’s secret list and checked what the multi-millionaire, major figures in football want for X-mas.

EPL
Sir Alex Ferguson- for Manchester City to keep Tevez
Wayne Rooney- a red card
(Chelsea manager) Andre Villas-Boas- to sell Fernando Torres
Fernando Torres- a goal
(MCFC manager)Mancini- wants Balotelli to stay on his Xanax regiment
MCFC PRs-wants a break from Balotelli
Micah Richards (MCFC)- wants Balotelli to pass the ball to him
Mario Balotelli- for everything to revolve around himself
Arsene Wenger- to win something this season
Van Persie- to stop carrying an entire team on his back
Gareth Bale- FC Barcelona (just kidding.)

Bundesliga
Thomas Muller- win EURO 2012
Mario Gomes- win EURO 2012
Toni Kroos- win EURO 2012

La Liga
Jose Mourinho- wants to find more excuses for why RM keeps losing El Clasicos
Pep Guardiola- new line-ups to keep people guessing
Messi- to keep playing football
David Villa-understand offsides rule
Cristiano Ronaldo- people to like him
Pepe/Marcelo/Ramos- injure an FCB player
Xavi- space, space, space
Gerard Pique/Carles Puyol/Cesc Fabregas- to own Twitter

Offsidehumor Enters ManCity Lottery (& more..)

Retweet to help Offsidehumor out =)

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Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a Troll

Let’s be honest. Most football players aren’t the brightest people on the planet. It’s perfectly fine considering they’re rich, famous, and talented. (I made sure not to add good looking, in fear of copyright infringement from CR7). So, because of those qualities they think they’re allowed to do anything they want. Ibrahimovic is no exception.

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Survival of the Fittest

Nope this isn't photoshopped.

We all know someone on the playground needs to be picked on.  It’s practically a law of nature, because in the real world the fittest are the one to survive.  But this week the fittest have failed and the underdogs have won.  Yes, people could side with the “Manchester City aren’t underdogs because they were in the top of their league”, but in the real world Manchester City don’t really win against Manchester United (…especially at the Old Trafford). It’s one of the most popular stories and games this week and unless you decided to live under a rock, the 1-6 defeat of Man U rocked the football world. Continue reading

Fernando Torres Gets Bewitched. Andres Iniesta develops his ESP.


During yesterday’s Champions League match (Chelsea vs. KCR GenK) Fernando Torres displayed an exceptional performance that finally shut me and probably thousands up.  Speculations of El Nino’s new and long awaited improved form was due to his teammate and certified Brazilian witchdoctor David Luiz.  Luiz was probably desperate to get Torres into shape to finally equalize the transfer fee of Torres to Chelsea.  This lead to a 5-0 trashing and an optimistic Torres.  Now off to learn what secret chants Lionel Messi uses…

 

Meanwhile on the pitch of Camp Nou, Andres Iniesta further develops his telepathic ability by using a new partner Lionel Messi.  Iniesta’s telepathic ability is starting to rival Villa’s ability to be offsides.  Case and point, Iniesta’s telepathic connection with Xavi are to no one’s surprise (last years season provided more than enough evidence to make it a known fact).  So while UEFA are still debating on whether to ban this 6th sense,  Iniesta continues to make the impossible look impossibly easy.