Zlatan Ibrahimovic is a Troll

Let’s be honest. Most football players aren’t the brightest people on the planet. It’s perfectly fine considering they’re rich, famous, and talented. (I made sure not to add good looking, in fear of copyright infringement from CR7). So, because of those qualities they think they’re allowed to do anything they want. Ibrahimovic is no exception.

Now excuse my language, but I’ve encountered a many douchebags in my day but this guy takes the cake, hell…might as well be the entire bakery. For those who haven’t paid attention to garbage the news, Ibrahimovic, former FC Barcelona striker, and gossip galore, has published an autobiography called, “I am Zlatan”. From the press that’s being said in the interweb, people are more interested on the horrific stories about FCB than his actual life. The stories he tells ranges from:

Messi asking to be in the center: “It started well but then Messi started to talk. He wanted to play in the middle, not on the wing, so the system changed from 4-3-3 to 4-5-1.” First of all, Messi is arguably one of (if not) best players in the world and he is in FC Barcelona’s complete disposal. So why not use Messi where he’s most useful?…oh wait Pep did do that. Not only is Zlatan’s attitude about glorifying himself as a Barca center-forward idiotic, but it also shows that he’s full of himself. There are great football players and there is Messi. Back then and right now, Zlatan isn’t Messi.

Ibrahimovic: "Am I Messi now??"

The war against Pep Guardiola: Ibrahimovic spills his baggage about Pep “icing” him out. From not being able to follow simple rules like putting the team before yourself, to incomprehensible metaphors like “buying a Ferarri to drive it like a Fiat” could make any coach scratch their heads. But I honestly don’t know why Pep cut him out. Maybe it was because he accused of Pep not having balls, or saying that Pep sh*t himself. I don’t know, choose your pick.

He rambles on about how incapable he is of following the speed limit while at the same time hyping up how awesome he was for doing it, not knowing that he’s only furthering the argument that he is an immature, irresponsible, hedonistic football player.

From what I’ve written so far, Zlatan Ibrahimovic pretty much answers his own questions in this autobiography. People don’t go to FC Barcelona to become a bigger superstar, they go there to make history. Surely David Villa didn’t go there expecting to make more goals then Messi and further inflate “the striker’s ego”. Players work for FCB, it’s not the other way around. Its clear that this guy’s ego couldn’t be contained in a team like FC Barcelona so he got sold. He knew this before he signing with FCB. So why does he bring up these old flames? Because he’s a troll.  He tells all these stories that have the fruits of starting flame wars (and bring in much publicity and money), and when they don’t, he tells even more absurd stories.

He is Zlatan, and he Trolls, therefore he is Zlatan.

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