Hello all! As you may know (but probably not) offsidehumor is the new contributor to OffsideHooligans. I’ve been contacted by OffsideHooligans after my infamous Wayne Rooney photo and…well I ended up here. Why OffsideHooligans? Well easy–because who better to join than a person offsides (just ask Villa!)? I have a tumblr site where it’s strictly photo driven, but now I’ll try to venture of in the world of letters and writing. Hopefully I can take my job as seriously as I do my posts in tumblr and hopefully I can do more good in OffsideHooligans than I do in offsidehumor!
For my first post, I can examine FCB and all their FCB-ness. If you’ve been living under a rock, or a Madridista, FC Barcelona has been in dire help for new members. Pep is probably pulling whatever hair he has on his head because of these hamstring injuries. Pep probably assumed by now that these professional players know what stretching is but these days who knows what things go on in a footballer’s head besides their twitter accounts. In FCB’s recent match with Racing Santander, Pique decided he wasn’t fit enough and walked off the pitch in a record breaking 3 minutes playing! Not only that but he was later confirmed with an injury (probably another hamstring) in a record breaking 3 minutes playing! This will cause another set-back for the juggernauts.
Another thing I realized was the reason Xavi doesn’t score that often is because he’s extremely claustrophobic and does his best to avoid group hugs. But since everyone decided to get injured and Messi’s diving skills are nearly non-existent, he had to do the impossible and actually make a Barcelona miracle by scoring a header in.
Another possible MotM player is Thiago. Who knew the kid can play as a defensive midfielder?! Go figure we almost lost this talent because of signing Cesc…who decided to fit into Barca by getting what? a Hamstring injury.
Lastly, because of Messi’s….well whatever he has on the pitch that makes him Messi…keepers now decide to just sit down and watch the ball roll past them. I fully understand this decision because why even try? Messi will probably just teleport the ball into the net. Oh yeah–he’s done it. It doesn’t really make much of a game but hey…whose paying attention to even that when Messi has the ball.
So that concludes my first blog post! Have I wasted your time?! If the answer is yes, then I’ve done my job!